DUST IN THE WIND
By: Lyn
FEEDBACK TO : townsend297@ozemail.com.au
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Just my take on TSbyBS.
Disclaimers: Blair, Jim, Simon et al belong to Di Meo and Bilson etc. They dont belong to me and no copyright infringement is intended. This story has been written for enjoyment and no money has changed hands. Sue me and Im down to offering the husband.
Spoilers:TSbyBS
"Dust in the wind" written by Kerry Livgren, recorded by Kansas.
I close my eyes
Only for a moment
And the moments gone
All my dreams
Pass before my eyes a curiosity
Dust in the wind
All they are is dust in the wind
Blair Sandburg closed his eyes and tried to steel himself against the memories battering his mind. He knew it would take no urging for him to turn around and walk out of the room before the press conference began.
He remembered that awful day in the precinct when Jim had told him that hed lost faith in him after learning about Alex.
"I dont know if I can get past this. To me, it was a real breach of trust," hed said.
Now, he had betrayed him again. Blair cast his mind back, trying to isolate the moment when he had lost track of his friendship, when his research had become more important than his bond with Jim. When Jim had learnt of Alexs presence in Cascade, Blair had reasoned that he had kept her existence to himself, biding his time so that the two Sentinels could meet in a controlled environment.
In a sense, it was true, there were no precedents here, hed never imagined discovering one Sentinel, let alone two. Examining his conscience though, he knew he had been overwhelmed at that very notion and had clutched the secret to him jealously, like a child with a new toy.
"Idiot," he berated himself, kicking at the leg of his desk.
Same old song
Just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do, crumbles to the ground
Though we refuse to see
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind
Jim had felt so betrayed and threatened then, that he had kicked Blair out of the loft and out of his life. Blair knew that this final act, exposing his partners Sentinel abilities to the world, whether of his own making or not, could be the final nail in the coffin of his friendship with Jim.
He took a deep breath and swallowed convulsively past the lump in his throat. He may have lost track of his friend before, now he knew there were no choices to be made. It was simply something that had to be done. Regaining his partners trust and friendship no longer entered into it. He realized with a startling clarity that the words he had said to Jim so long ago meant more than even he knew then.
"Its about friendship. I just didnt get it before."
Jims sentinel ability meshed perfectly with his abilities as his guide. It wasnt about The Sentinel needing a Guide; it was all about Jim Ellison needing Blair Sandburg as his guide. They were the yin and yang, opposites that complemented the other half and made a whole. He laughed a little hysterically as the final piece of the jigsaw slotted into place.
This was where it had always been destined to end for Blair Sandburg, Shaman of the great city and guide to James Ellison, The Sentinel.
Dont hang on
Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away
And all your money wont another minute buy
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind.
There was a soft rap at the door.
"Theyre ready for you, Mr. Sandburg."
Blair nodded and after taking a final, long look around at where the journey had begun, he strode from the room.
"What good does it do for a man to have ears that can hear a thousand miles if he cannot listen to the whispers of his own heart."
"You should begin by listening to the hearts of others." the wonderful Gabe "Night Shift."
Fin