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This Day of Thanks

By: Sineag

EMAIL: Sineag

Part of "Hell is for Children Series"

Warnings, implied child abuse.

This will not make sense if you have not read the first three stories in the series.l

This Day of Thanks.

by

Sineag

Blair sat quietly looking at a picture of his mother-playing guitar on a cliff overlooking a beach. He sighed as he recognized the man who was holding him in his arms. That picture reminded him of one of the few times that he had been happy as a child. His Mom had looked so beautiful in that picture, and so relaxed. He closed his eyes in an attempt to block the tears that were threatening to spill from his eyes. God this still hurt so much; it had almost a year since he had first received the package from his mom full of pictures and video tape. The pain of those memories had almost destroyed him. If it had not been for the love of his family here in Cascade, he would not be here today. Some of the pain lessened as he remembered how much support Jim, Simon, and the rest of the MC unit had shown him. On this day of thanks, they were the top of his list, but the pain was still there, he wondered if the pain would ever leave him.

"Oh Naomi", he said softly why did it have to end like this. Blair could have forgiven her for what he had allowed to happen to him as a child, but he did not know if he could ever forgive her for what she had tried to do to his friends. To this day, he still did not know what had happened between his Mom and Simon, Rafe and Brown. He had often wondered but was afraid to ask.

Blair got up and wandered through the darkening apartment and out on the balcony. A year ago, his Mom had sat here in this apartment laughing as they had prepared pies for the next day Thanksgiving feast. She had given no indication of the depth of her hatred and anger towards him. He had always known that Naomi had not liked him being a cop but he had not expected that her anger would lead her to try to destroy not only his career but also his relationships with his family by choice.

Jim opened the door to the loft juggling the sacks of groceries in his arms.

"So master chef are you ready to prepare the highlight of Thanksgiving the pies?" I can taste that sweet potato pie already he called out."

When he did not hear the joking response of his partner, he realized how dark the apartment was. Looking around he saw Blair standing on the Balcony. With concern in his eyes, he stood in the kitchen for a minute and watched the younger man. Dialing up his hearing, he could hear the soft words being spoken.

"Mom why do I still miss you and wish that we could fix this, why do I still want what I never had? When I think about my childhood, I remember being hurt but mostly I remember that little boy who was always alone. Why did you want that, you had your friends, and your life, and I was the one who you left behind. Why did you want to destroy the first home I have ever had. Why did you want me to be alone again, why? With those words, the little control Blair had gave way and he began to sob.

Jim blinked several times to keep the tears in his eyes from falling. Grabbing the blanket off the couch, he softly opened the door and wrapped it around his partner.

 

 

"You will never be alone again Chief" he vowed as Blair turned and buried his face in Jim's shirt.

As Jim held him close, he saw the picture Blair had placed on the edge of the balcony. The peaceful scene depicted in the photograph was jarring, as Jim knew how false it was. There had been no peace in his friend's childhood. He could not change the past, but he hoped he could ensure that the future would be one where Blair Sandburg knew without a doubt that he was loved, and would never be alone again.

On this eve of the day of thanks, Jim was most thankful that because of Blair he would never be alone again. The pain from their childhoods was less now than it had been but the strength of their bond was stronger than ever.

 

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