Disclaimer: The usual not mine, no money etc etc.

Warning: Child Abuse, Trauma,

This story is the fourth in a series. It is a sequel to Buried Memories. If you have not read Buried Memories then the story may not make a lot of sense. It is not necessary to read Hell is for Children or Concrete Angels, but those stories are referred to, and it might make more sense. Those stories are in the files under imsineag’s stories. This story deals with child abuse, and painful memories. If you are a Naomi fan, you might want to skip this one. I was not very nice to her. //denotes thoughts//




//Simon sighed deeply as he shut the door of the loft and headed for his car. He took out his phone and dialed quickly. As he started the drive towards home, his mind was replaying all that had occurred in the last few hours. He signed deeply and realized that he was not ready to go home yet. Daryl would be home by now and he did not want his son to know what was going on. This story belonged to Blair and he should be the one to decide whom to talk to. He took the next right and pulled up in front of the cemetery and walked down to the gravesite where he had found Blair sitting just a few hours ago. Simon felt the ache in his heart that had been present earlier. Simon found himself remembering what had happened earlier that evening, when he and Jim had stood in this same spot listening to the tortured words of his youngest detective.//

//"I don’t know Amanda, I didn’t understand at first why you killed yourself, when you were finally some place safe. I guess you’re smarter than I am. It never really does get any safer and it never goes away. I just wish that I could solve this without hurting the people I care about. You know Amanda I forgot how bad it hurts when the person who is supposed to love you more than anyone, really doesn’t. I guess you know all about that huh. Maybe you were the brave one in all of this. You chose to end the pain, before it could touch the people around you. I don’t understand how I managed to forget what my Mother did, and now I am going to hurt the people I care about no matter what I do. Damn kid, when did life get to be so hard, maybe it always was? I don’t know what to do; any of the options I have will hurt Jim. You probably don’t remember Jim; he was there that night when we found you and the other kids. He is this incredible man, my whole life I had dreamed of finding my sentinel, and I actually did find him. Man it was a hell of a ride."

"You know Amanda with Jim I had finally found a home, maybe that is why I forgot all of the things that had happened to me. We had some bad times, a couple of them were really bad, but we always worked through them. We were quite a team; both of us operating out of fear, except I couldn’t even see the fear in me. Most of our friends blamed Jim for Alex and the dissertation disaster. It was both of our faults but it really didn’t matter. For a while it was bad, but somehow we always managed to work it out. I guess you could say we were family by choice. //

Simon did not think he would ever forget the lost look in Blair’s eyes. He shook his head to himself and started back to his car. As he started the car he headed towards the station.

The detectives of major crime who were still on duty jumped as the door to the bullpen flew open.


"Rafe, Brown, my office he growled as he threw open the door to his office. Rafe and Brown looked at each other and shrugged as they headed to the Captain’s office.

"What’s up?" Brown asked as he came into the office.

"Shut the door and take a seat" Simon asked. He grabbed the coffeepot and poured three cups of coffee.

"Guys we have a situation here he said, but this needs to be handled very quietly" he said as he leaned back in his chair.

"What’s going on Sir" Rafe asked quietly noting the sadness in his eyes and the slump of his soldier.

"What I am about to tell you needs to remain between us", Simon said softly as he stood up and looked out of the window to the streets below.

"What ever you need sir you know that" Brown said quietly.

Simon took a deep breath and filled the two men on what had happened earlier in the evening. When he had finished the silence was almost suffocating. No one moved or said a word for several minutes.

"That bitch" Rafe swore softly, "Why in the hell is she doing this to him?"

"I don’t know Rafe" Simon said softly "but we need to stop it".

Brown spoke up at that point "Does Ellison know"?

Simon sat down on one of his chairs and rubbed is face with his hands. "Yeah he knows".

"So where is he", Brown asked angrily, as he got up and started pacing back and forth. "Why is he not here? Don’t tell me that he is going to let this happen."

"Calm down Henri, you know better than that, Rafe said quietly. Ellison is not going to stand back and do nothing while his partner is hurting, This is Jim were talking about here."

"Well actually he is going to stay out of this. The only way Sandburg would tell me where Naomi would be in the morning was Jim promising that he would stay out of it, and let us handle it", Simon said quietly.

"And Jim agreed to that".

"Yeah he did because I think he realized that Sandburg was right. Sandburg was afraid that if he did go he would do something that would end up causing him to be arrested".

"Yeah I can see that" Rafe said, "I am tempted to do something myself."

Simon looked at the two men sitting in front of him, and again marveled at the protectiveness Blair Sandburg brought out in all of the people who were close to him.

"I know you feel that way Detective", Simon said "I share those feelings, but we need to remember that if we lose control the one to be hurt the most will be Blair. He would not be able to handle the guilt if Naomi was hurt, or if one of us ended up in jail because we hurt her. We can’t help him if we break the law".

Rafe did not say anything and just stared at the floor.

"Do you understand me detective"


"Yes sir" he said softly.

"Brown are you O.K. here" Simon asked.

"No" Brown said "but I will handle it".

"Good" Simon said, "now here is how we are going to play this".

7 a.m. the next morning.

Naomi Sandburg glanced at the clock one more time. "Damn it Blair, when are you going to learn that nobody will ever love you but me You are going to regret this"

She grabbed her bag and headed out the door. As she headed towards her car she saw the towering police captain leaning against the door.

"Captain Banks, what are you doing here?" she said in a belligerent tone.

"You know exactly why I am here Naomi" Simon said in a voice that sent shivers down her back.

" I don’t know what you are talking about she said but I don’t have time to discuss this with you".

Naomi turned and started to head to the other side of the car when a large black man blocked her path. As she looked at him her heart started to race.

Henri Brown stood with his arms crossed and a look of absolute hatred in his eyes.

"Get out of my way pig" she spat out.

"Your not going anywhere Brown said in a low voice that made her blood run cold."

"O.K. gentlemen what is it that you want". She said coldly.

"We just wanted to deliver a message ma’am," said a man who was standing on the other side of her car.

"I doubt that you have anything to say that I want to hear" Naomi replied haughtily.

"What you want is of no consequence to me "Simon Banks replied as he moved to stand behind her, and Rafe cam around to stand beside Brown.

"Gentleman I don’t have time for this, I am late."

"He’s not coming Naomi," Simon stated.

"What are you talking about"

"You know exactly what I am talking about" Banks said; "I want you to listen very closely Nomi as this is the only time I am going to say this".

"You need to get in that car and drive away. You are to make no contact with Blair, and you are never to come back to Cascade again. If you do I will make sure that your are arrested for child endangerment, sexual abuse of a minor, and extortion."


"You can’t keep me from my son Naomi said angrily, who do you think you are".

"I think the question would be who do you think you are" Brown spat out.

"My relationship with my son has nothing to do with any of you. What did the little shit come running to you? Well gentlemen he does that, he tries to establish relationships with people, but soon enough they all get tired of him, and throw him out. You have no idea what my life has been like having him around. He has destroyed things for me for so many times. I am assuming that since you are here ready to defend his precious honor, he never let you see the evidence of what kind of depraved individual he is".

Simon growled deep in this throat and found himself wanting to wrap his hands around her neck.

"Oh yeah lady and I do use the term loosely I saw what you sent him. I think you have things mixed up here though. You are the one who was depraved, God Naomi he was a child, how could you have done this to him".

"Do this to him, he is the one who did it to me, he was always destroying things for me. I could never have a life, because he kept screwing it up. You have no idea what it was like to have to be responsible for him. He is a leech, and you will get tired of him. You will realize soon enough what kind of person he is. He is a leech and he will drive you away, he always does."

Simon grabbed the front of her shirt and backed her up against the car.

"God you are such a bitch, Simon spat out and he looked down at her face. He discovered he was so angry he was shaking.

Brown and Rafe grabbed his arms and tried to pull him away.

"Simon let go" Rafe said, "she is not worth this"

Simon could not even hear them; all he could think about was just taking her out.

Brown continued to put pressure on his arms, and finally broke Simon’s grip on Naomi’s jacket.

"Sir this will not help Blair, you know that"

Simon took some deep breaths, and forced himself to calm down.

"Oh man has Blair got you fooled Naomi laughed, or maybe not, maybe you are as depraved as he is. Tell me captain do you like what my son has to offer. He must offer it to you a lot, because that is the only thing Blair is good for. I mean hey do you all have a good time together", she sneered as she looked up at Brown.

Before anybody could even breathe, Rafe was in her face.

"You need to hear me real clear here. How Blair lives his life, has nothing to do with you, do you understand me".

"It has everything to do with me, she challenged he is after all my son, and I know just how good he can be in bed".

The three detectives just stared at her, not believing what she had just said.

Simon looked at her with a look that had even the most hardened criminal shaking inside, and spoke very slowly and clearly.

"You need to listen to me because I am only saying this once. For some reason your son who is the finest man I have ever met, begged me not to arrest you, so I won’t. But if I hear that you have made any attempt to see Blair, or contact him in any way, I won’t arrest you, I will just make sure I am not looking when Ellison finds you. You do remember Detective Ellison right, you know the man whose life you tried to destroy. The only reason he is not here today is because your son does not want to lose the man who has cared for him more than you ever had. But I promise you If I hear a whisper from anybody that you are invading their lives, I will personally hunt you down and hold onto you until Ellison arrives".

Naomi was speechless and her face lost all color. She looked at Brown and Rafe, "you heard him threaten me arrest him. He is a cop he can’t do that.

Brown looked over at Rafe, and asked "Did you hear anything Rafe?"

"No can’t say that I did Rafe said as he looked at Naomi like she was something that he would have liked to have squashed.

"I suggest you get in your car and leave Ma’am" Brown drawled before I forget the law that I have sworn to uphold.

Simon, Brown and Rafe headed back to their car. Simon looked back at Naomi, and said very clearly, "this is the only warning you will ever get, and the only chance I will give you, so don’t test me".

The three detectives got in the car and headed back to the station. They rode in silence each lost in their own thoughts. As they pulled up in front of the station, Simon looked at both of them.

"I think that we need to try and keep this between ourselves, gentleman, Jim knows I was going there but I think it would be best if Blair did not know what she said, at least for now. This is going to be hard enough for him to deal with anyway, without knowing what she said to his friends about him."

Brown nodded his head and started to open the door.

"H, Simon said, Brown looked back and Simon was surprised to see the tears falling down his face. Simon put his hand on H’s shoulder,

"What is it Henri?"

" I can’t understand how she could not have known what an incredible gift she had in Blair, God Simon how could she have hurt Hairboy like that".

"I don’t know Henri Simon said I just don’t know."

"It really does not matter Rafe said from the back seat.

"What do you mean it doesn’t matter Brown said belligerently"

"Because Blair is one of our own, and we know how wonderful he is. We will not let anybody hurt him that way again."

"Brown sat in silence for a while, and then smiled, you’re right, he is one of us, and that is what is important."

"Well said gentleman, I will see you later, why don’t you guys go home and get some sleep, and come in later". I am going so swing by the loft, and check on Blair and Jim.

Rafe and Brown headed towards there cars. Rafe turned around and walked back to Simon’s car.

"Sir I don’t know what all she was talking about when she said we had not seen the evidence, and I really don’t need to, just let Blair know that we are all here for him, when he needs a friend".

"I’ll let him know" Simon said with a small smile on his face. "You get some sleep o.k."

"Yes sir".

Simon watched them get in their cars and again had to wonder just how had a long haired totally unconventional man had managed to win the hearts of every person in the major crimes department.

Jim woke up when he heard the elevator start, and carefully eased himself out from under Blair. Blair murmured in his sleep, and Jim soothed him quietly, until he was back asleep. As he headed to the door, he smelled the cigar’s that indicated Simon was coming up. Jim opened the door, and met Simon at the door. He led him into the kitchen, and put a cup of coffee on.

"How is Blair, doing"? Simon asked quietly,

"He has been asleep for quite a while, so have I, what time is it, anyway."

"It is about 9:30. Rafe, Henri and I went to see Naomi this morning."

"How did it go?" asked Jim as he reached up to get down the coffee cups.

"Well it was pretty ugly, and I told Rafe and Henri, to be selective about what they told Blair. She left this morning, and was told that if she made any attempt to contact Blair, she would be arrested for child endangerment, sexual abuse of a minor, and extortion."

"The child endangerment, and abuse charges wouldn’t stick now."

"I know that" Simon said "but she doesn’t he said with a devious look on his face. " She said a lot of really negative things, and some really hateful things. Blair was right in not allowing you to come along. It took both Rafe and Henri to keep me from going off on her, and I don’t think we would have been able to stop you from going off on her."

"Probably not, she better stay away, I honestly want to kill her right now." He started to pour another cup of coffee, "Blair’s waking up" he said.

Simon had a hard time keeping a smile off his face as he saw his young detective come alert. Blair’s curls were all over the place, and sticking up in places. His eyes were still swollen from the previous evening’s tears, and he looked all of ten years old. Blair looked around in confusion before the memory of the night before came rushing back.

Jim cursed Naomi in his head, when he saw the pain and anguish come back into his friend’s eyes.

"Hey sleepyhead I brought you some coffee" he said as he sat down on the couch next to Blair.

"Simon" Blair said, "did you...."

"She left Cascade this morning Blair, and she will not be back. I told her I would arrest her for extortion if she got in contact with you, before you wanted to see her. It’s over kid."

"I hope so but for how long, what if she comes back."

"We will worry about that together, if and when it happens", Jim said quietly "but for now we will go on with our lives, and work through what you had to deal with in your life. When you are ready, we will find a therapist to help you. For now we will drink our coffee, and then get on with the rest of our lives, the way we always have together.

Simon got up " I better get back to work, you guys take the rest of the week off o.k.

Thanks sir Jim got up to walk him to the door.

Simon turned and looked at Blair who was huddled on the couch. He walked back over and crouched down in front of him. Blair glanced at him and turned away.

Blair look at me Simon said softly

Blair shook his head. " I can’t"

"Why Simon said"

Blair just shook his head.

Simon reached out and gently turned Blair’s face to him, "Look at me" he said again.

Blair looked at him and Simon could have wept at the pain in his eyes.

"Talk to me son, what is going through your head?"

"I feel so lost" Blair whispered.

"Simon pulled Blair close, an said, you may feel that way now, but you are not lost. You are here with family. We are your family Blair and you are ours. It may be by choice but it does not make it any less valid. O.K. " Blair just nodded.

"O.K. well I have to go, if you need me you know where I am o.k.

"Yes sir"

As he got to the door Jim looked at him "thanks Simon."

"For what" Simon asked

"For caring about him," Jim said.

"Well just keep it to yourself, Simon scowled at him. I do have a reputation to uphold.

To late sir I think that you have already shot that reputation to hell.

Not funny detective. I can have you writing parking tickets for the next year.

Yes Sir, Understood Sir, Jim replied with the laughter barely hidden.

Good Simon huffed as he left the apartment.


Simon got outside the building and looked up at a rainbow that was appearing in the sky. God please let this be over he said to himself, but somehow he had a feeling that it had only just begun.