Dance with My Father Again

By: Sineag


Disclaimer: yeah I know I don’t own them, but I am working on it.

Warnings: Death of a minor character, Not Jim and Blair.

Song lyrics by Luther Vandross.


Blair turned over in his sleep, then heard soft sounds coming from the living room. Looking at the clock by the bed, he noticed that it was only four a.m. He realized that the only light he could see was coming from the TV. He got up and opened the door quietly and saw Jim sitting on the couch watching the television in the dark. Blair noted that he had opened one of the large boxes that they had discovered at the house. Blair sighed, when he saw the sadness and sorrow, which seemed to surround Jim, in the flickering lights from the television. Blair’s concern for Jim had grown each day, since they had received the call from Sally.

Two Weeks earlier

Jim and Blair came home early for once. It had been a slow week for the Major Crimes department, so everybody was taking the opportunity to get in some down time, not knowing when it could happen again.

Both of them were watching the Jag game and during half time Jim glanced over at his partner and smiled to himself as he noted that Blair was stretched bonelessly on the couch.

"Better watch it there short stuff he teased you get any more relaxed you will slide of that couch to the floor, and I am not carrying you to bed, I will just leave you there" he threatened.

Blair looked up at him and smirked, he then reached behind him and the small pillow thew across the loft, hitting Jim square in the face. "He shoots he scores," Blair cried.

"This is war" Jim declared as he grabbed the pillow and threw it back. Blair avoided the pillow but in the process managed to trip over the afghan that was wrapped around him, and ended up on the floor. Jim pounced and began to tickle Blair. In the middle of giggles and getting more tangled up in the blanket began to tickle Jim behind his knee as that was the only place Jim was ticklish.

"Now you’ve done it" Jim said, just as Blair managed to untangle himself and jumped to his feet dashing around to the back of the couch. Jim returned the attack with no mercy. Of course it didn’t help that Blair was ticklish almost everywhere. From the couch to the upper level of the loft, Jim chased Blair, while Blair would try to block him with everything that he could think of. Thirty minutes later they were both laughing so hard they couldn’t stop it, and the apartment looked like a class full of kindergartners with had been let loose in the loft with finger paint. Both of them ending up on the floor gasping for air Jim looked around the apartment.

"You have a lot to clean up here Jr.," he said while trying to look anywhere besides his guide. Jim knew that if he looked at his Blair the puppy dogs eyes would end, and somehow he would end up having to clean the place up by himself.

"Why do I have to clean it up?" Blair asked indignantly. "You were just as much a part of this as I was."

"I however did not get the chocolate syrup and the whipped cream and decided to create a pictorial something on the coffee table, in the living room. That was in direct violation of rule number 57."

"For the sake of my sleep deprived mind, exactly what is rule number 57?"

"When one decides to play with one’s food it must be done in the kitchen area only," Jim replied smugly.

Blair looked at him and grinned "Well there is are some problems with that rule here big guy?"

"And just what might those be," Jim asked and made the mistake of looking at Blair and his puppy dog eyes and knew that he might as well concede, and get it over with, however he was a Sentinel dammit, and they never conceded. It was the most important rule.

"Well One I don’t eat whipped cream and chocolate syrup therefore the food must be yours; hence that rule has no validity. Second when did you actually see me spray the whipped cream? Hum tell me detective, exactly where was the suspect when said whipped cream and syrup were allegedly spilled on the table and floor. What’s the matter detective do you have no answer."

Jim was struggling not to laugh,

"Well it’s like this your honor, I was trying to evade being assaulted by said syrup and whipped cream."

‘Did you actually see the aforementioned suspect commit this heinous crime?"

"Well I saw him standing in the kitchen with both of the weapons of destruction in his hand."

"Yes but did you actually see him spray the contents of those weapons onto the.

"Well I may not have seen him open the aforementioned weapons, and there were only two of us. Since I did not have the afore mentioned weapons, it is obvious that the suspect was the perpetrator of this atrocity. "

"Detective can you tell me why you did not actually see the alleged perpetrator allegedly commit this crime."

"Um well I taking protective measures and hid behind the couch" he mumbled in a soft voice.

"Excuse me detective could you repeat that please."

At that moment the telephone rang,

"Now I know the true meaning of saved by the bell" he laughed as he went to get the phone. "Clean that up o.k."

"Hello he said barely managing to control his laugher. "

Blair caught sight of his friend’s face as he was going into the kitchen to get a sponge. He stopped when he saw Jim’s face turn into a mask, and noticed the clenching of his jaw. He went to his side and gently rubbed the Sentinel’s back. He knew that something bad had just happened.

"I’ll be there as soon as I can Sally, I promise," Jim said as he hung up the phone.

He turned to Blair, and Blair felt his heart clench at the look of pain in his eyes.

"What is it" Blair whispered.

"It’s my Dad" Jim replied, "He had a heart attack."

"Is he going to be o.k."

"He’s dead", Jim said woodenly. " I have to go and get Sally from the hospital," he whispered, his voice shaking slightly.

Jim went up to the room to change his clothes. Blair quickly went to his room to do the same.

As he was coming down the stairs, Jim looked at Blair with a question in his eyes

"Will you come with me," he asked, his voice cracking.

"You don’t even have to ask," Blair whispered, and hugged him tightly.

"I will be with you all the way, I am so sorry Jim."


Two weeks later.

Blair still felt helpless on how to help the man he loved. Jim had not smiled since that night which was understandable. What concerned Blair the most was that he never expressed any emotion at all once they left the apartment?

He had been stoned face through the funeral, and when he put Sally on the plane to go stay with her sister for a while. Jim had promised Sally that he would keep in touch, and that if she wanted he would help her find a place in Cascade if she wanted to return. Blair thought that Sally would, Jim and Stephen were the closest thing she had to a family, and she had been working for the Ellisons since Jim and Steven were very young.

At Jim’s insistence, he had gone with him to the reading of the will. Blair knew that Jim was surprised when he found out that he had split the bulk of the estate between Jim and his brother, and Sally. Jim’s surprise was not that William had left such a large amount to Sally, but rather that he had left Jim anything. Blair had helped Stephen and Jim pack up the house, and arranged to have it rented through a local rental agency. Neither one of them had wanted to live there but they were not ready to get rid of it yet. Blair knew that Jim and Stephen needed to hang on to their childhood home, since that was the only tie they had with their Mother. When they had cleaned out the house, they found that William had left a couple of boxes with Jim’s name on them. Jim has not even opened them, until tonight.

Blair quietly moved from his room to his "brothers" side. He was surprised when he noted the tears silently rolling down Jim’s face. Blair did not say anything he just sat on the couch, and put his arms around Jim. Jim was startled when he felt Blair’s arms; he had not even heard him come out of his room. He did not try to jerk out of his guide’s grasp, but rather pulled him closer, the tears coming even faster.

They sat like that for a while then Jim started talking.

"I remember the night this movie was made he said softly. It is one of the few good memories I have. It was at their anniversary party the year before she left. My Dad planned this party, and my grandfather made this movie."

Blair looked at the television and smiled as he saw Grace Ellison dancing with Stephen. Stephen was small enough that he was standing on Grace’s feet, as they moved around the room. What was even more surprising was the image of William Ellison, teaching a seven year old Jim how to do the waltz. The look of joy on William Ellison’s face as he looked down on the laughing little boy Astounded Blair. He watched with amazement as the child Jim broke out into bursts of giggles when he tripped and fell on the floor. William picked him up, and twirled him around, all the time laughing with joy. Blair heard Stevie’s high voice saying, "Dance with Daddy Momma." Jim joined in with the cry, and the film showed Grace and William, move into each other, and began to dance, both of them looking into each other’s eyes, full of love for each other.

Jim started talking softly,

"I remember a few times when I was a child, before the world fell apart, we would put on the music, and we would dance with our parent’s. At that point in my life, I knew that I was loved, and home was the place that I could run to not run away from. I keep remembering that last year, and I search my memories for what happened, and what I could have done, but I don’t remember anything Blair. Why did it have to turn so bad, Blair why did she have to leave? What did I do that was so bad that she stopped loving us in just a short year?"

"You didn’t do anything Jim, you were just a boy. Whatever happened it was between them, it was their choices and not yours or Stevie’s."

"God we wasted so much time my Dad and I, why couldn’t we have ever found our way back to when we loved with each other" he said, as the tears started flowing faster.

Blair found himself crying as well, as he held Jim close murmuring reassuring phrases.

After a while Jim turned of the television, and sighted,

"God I wish I could have danced with my Father again",

Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence

My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me

and then spin me around 'til I fell asleep

Then up the stairs he would carry me

And I knew for sure I was loved

If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him

I would play a song that would never, ever end

How I'd love, love, love,

To dance with my father again

When I and my mother would disagree

To get my way, I would run from her to him

He'd make me laugh just to comfort me

Then finally make me do just what my mama said

Later that night when I was asleep

He left a dollar under my sheet

Never dreamed that he would be gone from me

If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him

I'd play a song that would never, ever end

'Cause I'd love, love, love,

To dance with my father again

Sometimes I would listen outside her door

And I'd hear how my mother cried for him

I pray for her even more than me.

I pray for her even more than me

I know I am praying for much too much

But could you send back the only man she loved

I know you don't do it usually

But dear Lord she's dying

To dance with my father again

Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream