Things Are Not Always What They Seem

by Shadde

EMAIL: Shadde

 

Summary: An alternate ending to TSbyBS. Spoilers for TSbyBS, SenToo,and several others.

Notes: This is just my take on all the Jim is a jerk fic's. Not that I don't like Blair and all, I do. This isn't betaed, or spell checked.

Disclaimer: Jim and Blair belong to Pet Fly. I'm just borrowing them for the month. All original characters are mine.

 

Jim just stared at Blair in shock. His hands felt clammy and his heart was beating out of control in his heart. This couldn't be true. No he couldn't accept it.

"You set me up?"

"It wasn't really a set up Jim. Remember I didn't ask you to get my career back by revealing your true nature. You chose to do that on your own. Your actions were dictated by your own guilt and fear."

"I thought it was the right thing to do." Jim said in a shocked voice, so quiet it was almost inaudible. He looked up from his clenched hands. "I didn't ask you to trash your career Blair but I did distrust you and I thought this was the way to clear that up. But you set me up!"

"No I didn't! Yes I used my knowledge of your probable behavior but that wasn't a set up."

"You knew when I saw your unhappiness I would do anything to alleviate it."

"Jim you're not looking at this right. This was a bad situation. I didn't know what Naomi was going to do until she did it. I did use it to my advantage but I really was trying to help you when I trashed my career."

"You just admitted to me that you were stunned when I offered you a badge rather than a return to your doctorate."

"Jim I made a heroic gesture. You knew how long and how hard I had worked to get those three letters behind my name. I couldn't believe you and Simon didn't realize how important that was to me."

"So you manipulated me into telling the truth."

"I didn't manipulate. I WAS unhappy."

"You used me to not only get your doctorate but the Nobel prize and book money. Now you're leaving on a book and speaking tour. It doesn't matter to you that I can't work. You got what you wanted and it's even better than it would have been. You're a hero for giving up your life for a friend. Not only am I looked at as a freak and a creep. It's impossible for me to work because the press follows me around endangering my fellow officers and the criminal element loves to leave behind little gifts that throw my senses out of whack or almost kill me. Do you realize I've been in the hospital three times this week?"

"That will end once the excitement dies down. Something new will come up and you will be old news. And despite that Jim even if this had never happened, you knew I was going to publish and this work isn't for my benefit but all those out there like you who don't have someone who understands what is going on with them. Who think they are going crazy like you thought at first."

"Right and you gain nothing from it?" Jim said sarcastically his hands clenched tightly on the kitchen counter to keep them away from Blair's throat.

"Of course I gain something from it. Jim I'm the premier expert on heightend senses. Look at all the people I will be able to help."

"And you get to prove to all those who laughed at you and didn't believe you that they're the fools now."

"No Jim. Well I have to admit it is satisfying, but that isn't why I wanted this Jim."

"Isn't the only reason you wanted it you mean."

"Okay Jim I'm human, I admit it. I'm sorry. I am glad to get my life's work validated."

"And all that about it being about friendship and you being willing to destroy your notes?"

"Jim it was,is about friendship. You became more than just a thesis subject but you were still one. I was studying you! You knew that! Maybe you didn't expect your life to become so public but you knew what I was doing."

"I needed help so bad that day Blair, I would have accepted any deal. After awhile I thought we became friends but all the while you were just using me. I was never your friend, just your way to fame, fortune and a doctorate. That's what I feared during that time when I read your first draft.You were so angry with me but you had taunted me with it and then left it as a impossible temptation. I remember that guy Gabriel asking me about what does it matter for a man to be able to hear a thousand miles or something like that and not be able to hear his own or his friends' heart, something close. Now I think he was warning me, not telling me I was failing you, but telling me to listen to your true self not the one you show to everyone else."

"That's not fair. I never hid who I was. Like you always said I'm an open book and wear my emotions on my sleeve. And no Jim you were never just my way to fame and fortune. I would never use someone like that. You were, are my friend." Blair paused biting his lip. "There are other ways for you to protect the tribe other than being a cop. I want you to go with me. On the tour. You can show people what you can do. It will validate my work and make it more accessible to the general public."

Jim stared at the stranger he had thought was his friend and guide in shock. " You had everyone fooled didn't you? Of course you looked as if your emotions were out where others could see them but I never really knew you. And Incacha was wrong. Not about you being my guide because you could have been, but he was wrong to pass the way of the shaman on to you. A shaman has to be wise and put aside personal gain. You never did that. Even when Alex showed up. All that went on, you should have known as a shaman what was happening to me, but you didn't. You were to busy sulking about me throwing you out. It took Megan to realize I'd thrown myself out to. It took Megan to realize I wasn't acting right." Jim walked over to look out the glass doors of the patio.

"Do you know Megan is a guide? I realized that when she told me she talked to you doing the diss fiasco and told you if what you were doing was right then it would work out. She has the wisdom of the shaman. I never realized it until my guide abandoned me."

"Jim..."

Jim turned back around but his eyes didn't really seem to see Blair.He continued to speak as if Blair had never said anything. "You are no longer my guide. The bond is broken by your betrayal. I will not be your performing dog. Megan is returning to Australia and I'm going with her." Now his eyes bored into Blair. "The sentinel follows his true guide."

~end~

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