Okay, that was weird, in an entirely 'I so don't want to go there' way.
Daniel cracked open one eyelid then slammed it shut as blinding light speared into his eye and clear through to his brain. "Oh, god," he moaned.
His stomach hurt. In fact, if he thought about it, and he wasn't sure he actually wanted to do that, his entire body hurt, badly. But he was pretty sure his stomach hurt worse than anywhere else.
He struggled to turn to his side in an attempt to curl around the ache in his gut but was brought up short by something tugging at his arm.
A hand tapped at his cheek and he batted it off irritably. "Go away," he muttered, pissed off with the world in general.
"I know you're awake, Daniel," an annoyingly familiar voice said.
"Yep. How you feeling?"
"Depends," Daniel replied grumpily. "Who kicked me in the stomach?"
"Okay." Daniel had another shot at opening his eyes, sighing in relief when his eyeballs weren't seared with ultra-bright light. He peered up at Jack, his vision somewhat foggy but workable. He tugged at his encumbered hand. "What's with the handcuff?"
"It's a restraint actually," Jack replied. He lifted Daniel's hand and wiggled it, showing the leather cuff that was attached to the bed. "Doc thought it was a good idea."
"You don't remember anything?"
Daniel thought for a moment then shook his head. "Total blank, sorry. Want to enlighten me?"
Jack leaned closer, a frown creasing his brow. "You sure you want me to?"
"How bad is it?"
Jack shrugged but there was a small smile tugging at his lips. "Depends on where you were for the performance, in the audience or the starring role."
"Should it worry me that you're making absolutely no sense?" Daniel asked. He flopped over onto his back, or tried to, until the restraint brought him up short. He wiggled his hand. "You want to take this off?"
Jack looked positively wary. "Maybe we should wait for Fraiser to check you out, make sure you're okay."
A vague dream-like memory came to mind and Daniel felt his cheeks heat with embarrassment, though he wasn't entirely sure why. "Just take the damn thing off, Jack, and tell me what's going on." A horrifying thought came to mind. "I didn't hurt anybody, did I?"
Daniel's patience finally frittered away. "Will you just stop with the innuendos and tell me what's going on? And get this damn handcuff off!"
"Restraint," Jack murmured but he reached down and unbuckled the strap.
"Thank you," Daniel said, shaking his hand to get rid of the pins and needles and not feeling the least bit grateful. He gave Jack a self-righteously pissed off glare. "What the hell is going on?"
Jack leaned back in his chair, that somewhat annoying little grin still on his face. "Do you remember going to Ataria?"
Daniel nodded slowly. "Vaguely."
"They put on a feast for us. I warned you we shouldn't eat the food."
"And I told you the Atarians could take that as a slight to their offer of friendship."
Jack sighed. "And you took a real liking to their little dessert biscuits."
Daniel was sure he saw a light bulb go on in his head and he wasn't entirely certain he'd like what he was going to see. "The ones that were sandwiched together with what tasted like lemon spread."
"They're the ones. Couldn't get enough of 'em," Jack concurred. "Anyway, seems the lemon spread stuff is a homegrown version of a psychedelic."
"Like LSD?" Daniel squeaked.
"Like LSD," Jack agreed, "just better."
"Well, let's just say the performance you put on was worthy of an Academy Award."
Daniel groaned. "Please tell me I didn't get naked."
"Okay, I won't."
"You're yanking my chain, right?"
Jack's small smile morphed into a wide-mouthed grin. "Would I lie to you?"
"I'm lying," Jack said, patting Daniel's shoulder. "You just got a little antsy, that's all. Freaked out, wanted to dance all night, that kind of thing. You don't remember any of it?"
Daniel decided against telling Jack about his dream of being dressed in a sparkling pink tutu and twirling across the stage. "Nope," he replied, "not a thing."
"Funny thing is," Jack said, still patting Daniel's shoulder, "Teal'c ate more of the damn things than you did. According to Fraiser, his symbiote prevented the drug getting into his bloodstream, though he says he's feeling a little jumpy. He's in his room, watching Grease for about the fifth time. Carter said if she hears 'You're The One That I Want' one more time, she's going to disable his DVD player."