Thanks to Xasphie for the beta!
Two Sentinels, attraction - but the past is in the way.
WARNING: J/f - non-explicit.
(Sequel to 'Introduction')
I take a step backwards, catching my breath.
His eyes are on me, assessing, almost cold, but all that can't hide his inner turmoil from me. I'm a Sentinel, after all.
"You are married," Jim says, and it sounds final. He might have made up his mind, but his body doesn't agree yet. All dialed up, I can easily tell. Torn between rules and the demand of an ancient instinct, just like I am.
"So I am. I wasn't going to propose to you."
I'm going very far here, afraid that he'll look at me with the same disgust he has for slimy drug dealers and greedy murderers; but then the ice melts, the look in his eyes becomes more gentle.
He's right, I am married, happily. I love my family more than anything else, and I never thought this could even happen to me, to us. We were well on the way to becoming good friends, but there remains... this something between us. A curiosity. Sure, Jim is attractive, so am I, but that's not the main part of creating the chemistry that has just started to burn.
I want to run. I want to kiss him again just like I did before.
"I guess Sandburg would come up with something really mystical to explain this," he says wistfully.
Right, Sandburg. As nice as the guy is, there are times when I could strangle him. Or strangle Jim, for that matter, because he can't carry on a conversation without bringing up Blair's name. Earlier I'd misunderstood that, until Megan Connor set me straight, so to speak.
That rarely ever happens to Stephen and me, because as much as we like each other, he's so clearly 'out' that no one ever thinks we're sleeping together. But back to the matter at hand...
"I suppose I could just say that I don't know what came over me, but that would be a lie. Jim, think about it... This is a one time chance. To see what it would be like. It's not like you don't want me, and somehow I can't see you being overly concerned about me being married."
Jim reaches out to touch my cheek, then wraps a strand of my hair around his finger. Such a sensual pleasure to give and to receive. I shiver. "You are right," he says, pain in his pale blue eyes. "If this had happened years ago... I wouldn't give a damn about you being married."
I could be embarrassed as hell about acting like a love-struck teenager... if he hadn't accepted the kiss so easily, hadn't kissed me back like he really meant it. He is still aroused, just as I am, and the shared knowledge is intoxicating. I'd rather end the conversation now, but if it still doesn't lead us where I hope it will, we are both going to need a very long and cold shower.
"Could you at least tell me that?"
I have a suspicion though, and the ghost of her has made my life in Cascade harder than it could have been often enough. The phantom no one talks about. The evil Sentinel woman who tried to kill Blair. "Jim... I'm not her." I chuckle nervously. "Sentinels are usually good people. You'd think you and I are proof for that."
Jim turns to me, and I'm inwardly happy with the anticipation of success, because yeah, I can feel his doubts crumbling, and my heart is starting to beat faster. So is his.
One... step.. closer...
"I wouldn't say 'good'," he whispers, laying his hands on my waist, before drawing me closer. I feel naked already, and very much enjoying it.
Maybe we'll have to talk about her, Alex, and maybe I'll have to deal with my guilty conscience, later, but yes, this is going to happen.
Two Sentinels, about to go where only we can go together.
Heading for disaster, maybe, but we'll care later.