Woman Goin Crazy on Carolyn Street
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Christ, look at this place.
I mean I know Jimmy didnt pick it -- wouldnt have picked it in a million years. For one thing theres a dance floor and Jim Ellison doesnt dance. Not in public. Not in private. Never. I had to learn that the hard way. Youd think that all the lithe grace he shows while horizontal would translate. Youd be wrong. Or, who knows, you might be right. But theres no damn way youll figure it out. Cause Jimmy doesnt dance.
I used to dance.
I used to not come to these things. I mean, God, that first year when Jimmy forgot our wedding anniversary and then remembered *this* -- his stupid celebration of the day-Ellison-became-a-cop. It was over then; I just hadnt realized it yet. No, that took one too many double shifts, one too few conversations, one too many times when he turned that stone cold gaze on me.
Nobody can stare like Jimmy.
And this is typical - his party and the mans not even here. Simons here, the rest of Major Crime, the half of Vice that doesnt hold a grudge. Hell, theres even a sprinkling from forensics and a couple of uniforms.
Youd think Jimmy actually had some friends.
God, thats cold, even for me.
Simons waving me over. Hes wondering where the man of the hour is. He thinks I know. I didnt know where he was when it was my job to know where he was. Well, I knew where his body was where he was keeping his heart remains a mystery. Im still thinking a locker at the bus station in one of those boxes with a combination lock. He keeps it well-dusted. Im sure about that. The box, that is.
I think I need a drink. Im pretty damn sure it needs to be a double.
Ah, look whats coming in the front door. The man were all waiting for. Nope, definitely not his pick, look at that frown. And we can guess who did pick it -- that idiot student thats been following him around. Kind of amusing when you see it from the outside. The kids grinning and looking pleased with himself and I can pretty much stand here and do the Ellison countdown. One second, frown. Five seconds, add the glare. Ten seconds, here comes the patented Ellison cutting comment. By fifteen, the kid will be completely deflated.
I need to move that uniform out of the way. Hes blocking my view.
Yep, theres the frown. Three, two, one we have glare. I can see the lips moving from here, Jimmy. The kids hands go up. I give him ten before the doors hitting him in the ass. Pity, too, its a nice ass.
Damn, Officer GQ is still in the way.
I admit it. I want to see somebody else smash into the great wall of Ellison. I want to see that cute little smile wiped off that cute little face. Jimmys so disgusted it looks like hes in actual pain. Now the little guy is starting to get worried. Hell, kid, I caught on faster than that. Oops, I wouldnt advise doing that better put that hand back before Jimmy snaps it off.
Great, Cutie-pie here just has to do some little cha-cha into my space.
"Youre causing me to miss the best part." I look down at the nametag. "Officer Rafe."
Pretty-boy frowns. "Brian."
Uh, yeah, no thanks. I have some serious ass-kicking to watch cause when that hand reaches Jimmys shoulder ...
when that hand reaches Jimmys shoulder, Jimmy leans into it. Its just a moment. A lingering caress exchanged along with some quiet words before the hand migrates to Jimmys back and stays there.
Condensation, Ill say later. You know, youre trying to hold on to the fucking glass and its slippery, what can you do? Condensation. Not like it was a big scene. Only two people noticed the thump and the spilling of ice. I wasnt either of them.
Jims eyes meet me over the crowd. God dammit, James Ellison. But the hand isnt displaced.
Officer Chippendales, right.
He nods, his hand tapping a beat on the bar.
"You dance?" I wont look back over in the direction of the door. "You know, I used to be something of a dancer."
Jimmys waiting for me outside the ladies room, leaned up against the wall, looking content. God damn him.
"You know what they say, these days, if you fuck a uniform, you might as well quit."
I raise an eyebrow at him.
"Im serious Caro. You dont want to risk your career over this."
"Whereas if you fuck the observer "
Dont look so surprised, Jimmy. What, you forgot I always knew which buttons bore the big, red warning sticker?
"Im not fucking anybody."
"Could have fooled me. And youd better be fooling Simon."
Jimmys eyes are Christ, theyre almost wistful. "Simon knows everything there is to know and thats a lot less than you apparently believe."
Uh huh, you didnt even know it was over did you? You wondered where the hell the divorce papers came from.
"Officer Rafe is waiting for me."
"You want it wrapped up with a bow, Jimmy? Is that what you want? Well, let me tell you a couple things I dont know if either of us realized before tonight one is that Carolyn Plummer, who steadfastly refused to sleep her way up the ladder, is not at all averse to sleeping her way down. Do you really need me to spell out what James Ellison has learned?"
His eyes dart toward a certain nice ass on the dance floor.
"I didnt think so."
I turn back toward the bar and find Rafe really is waiting for me.
Hes still wearing his blues. Hes got his damn cover in his hand.
What the hell. Im fucking a uniform.
And tomorrow, Im going to look for a new job.
(with apologies to Mr. Goodman and Mr. Buffett for pilfering the title)