In the space of a coffee

BY: Antonella


Sometimes I ask myself what I’m doing.

Why I’m doing it.

I wasn’t bargaining for this.

The deal was another.

In the deal there weren’t bullets.

There wasn’t the fear, the pain.

Just a book.

Some fancy pages

Lots and lots of data, tests, observations.

This was what I had, what I wanted to do.

To observe, analyse then write.

But It isn’t so.

Since the beginning everything has gone so differently.

So many things that it’s too long to do even a list

Just to think of some names…

Often characters of my nightmares

I feel my heart try to jump out of my chest!

Then I ask again, why’

I wonder every day what am I doing still here

I been na´ve

As usual I gave permission to my fat mouth

To open before it connected itself with my brain.

Man, when will I learn to reflect before I act

Did I really think I'd able to help him?

As if I had the answers for all…

Wrong! Half the time I don’t know what I’m doing

Isn’t as though I have an instruction booklet with me

Just theories, some old tomes and a lot of improvisation

What if I make an error?

What if I’m not enough?

There is so much at stake.

Jim’s life, his sanity, his future

What of mine.

Well, this is my journey

This is my dream life

Is it worthy of all that's happened to me?!?

"Hey, Chief, are you ready yet?

The bad guys are waiting for us!"

"Here I am! I’m with you Jim!"

Well, I think that my dream,

My Sentinel answered for me.

The doubts that overcome me every morning

Last just the time of a coffee

Then with the Big Guy next to me

I feel myself ready to cope with all my fears

Sure, I still haven't my answer

Maybe I’ll never have them

But I have always tomorrow’s coffee

To find them!