In the space of a coffee
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Sometimes I ask myself what Im doing.
Why Im doing it.
I wasnt bargaining for this.
The deal was another.
In the deal there werent bullets.
There wasnt the fear, the pain.
Just a book.
Some fancy pages
Lots and lots of data, tests, observations.
This was what I had, what I wanted to do.
To observe, analyse then write.
But It isnt so.
Since the beginning everything has gone so differently.
So many things that its too long to do even a list
Just to think of some names
Often characters of my nightmares
I feel my heart try to jump out of my chest!
Then I ask again, why
I wonder every day what am I doing still here
I been na´ve
As usual I gave permission to my fat mouth
To open before it connected itself with my brain.
Man, when will I learn to reflect before I act
Did I really think I'd able to help him?
As if I had the answers for all
Wrong! Half the time I dont know what Im doing
Isnt as though I have an instruction booklet with me
Just theories, some old tomes and a lot of improvisation
What if I make an error?
What if Im not enough?
There is so much at stake.
Jims life, his sanity, his future
What of mine.
Well, this is my journey
This is my dream life
Is it worthy of all that's happened to me?!?
"Hey, Chief, are you ready yet?
The bad guys are waiting for us!"
"Here I am! Im with you Jim!"
Well, I think that my dream,
My Sentinel answered for me.
The doubts that overcome me every morning
Last just the time of a coffee
Then with the Big Guy next to me
I feel myself ready to cope with all my fears
Sure, I still haven't my answer
Maybe Ill never have them
But I have always tomorrows coffee
To find them!