First Fear

By Annie

EMAIL: Annie

“I really liked him.” My voice is remarkably steady, much steadier than my hands which I’ve clenched into tight fists down on my legs, where Gibbs won’t see them.

“I can see that.” He says it casually as he glances over into the back seat of the car and looks at the blood-covered body sprawled there.

I take a deep breath, and then wish I hadn’t as the smell of death suddenly overwhelms me. I hit out at the door handle with my fist, managing to open it and stumble out of my seat onto the concrete next to the car. I keep my head down, and will myself not to throw up. My stomach overpowers my will though and I end up almost overbalancing as I heave.

Somebody has hold of the back of my neck, a hand firmly keeping me from ending up face-first in my own mess.

 Finally, it stops and I slump backwards onto my heels, drawing in huge lungfuls of the clean cool air.


 I look down at the handkerchief that’s been pushed into my hand. It takes a minute for me to work out what to do with it and then before I can start, Gibbs' hand comes into view and takes it. Then he uses it to wipe my mouth and chin.

 “Lean back against the car.” His arm goes around my shoulders and I dig my heels into the ground and manage to push back till I’m sitting propped against the vehicle.

 I tilt my head back and close my eyes. Shit, I’m tired. Being on the run can sure take it out of a guy.

 “Get some medics here.”

 That gets my eyes open in a hurry. “No need, Boss. I’m fine.”

 “Mm-hm. You’re in shock,” he says, as he cups the side of my face in his warm hand.

 That feels way too good so I jump in again. “I don’t do shock,” I assure him.

 He doesn’t move his hand, just grins down at me. “You’re doing it now, Di Nozzo.”

 I shake my head then wish I hadn’t as bile touches the back of my throat again. I swallow it down and close my eyes. “I’m fine, Boss.”

 “If the medics say you’re fine, you don’t have to go to the hospital.” He says it like he’s just made some sort of deal with me and I open my eyes and look at him suspiciously.

 “You don’t trust me to know whether I’m fine or not?” I flinch as the hand he’s been holding against my face moves away and up towards the back of my head. But instead of the slap I’m expecting, he just tousles my hair gently.

 He leans in close to my ear and whispers,”No, I don’t, Di Nozzo. Get over it. You’re getting checked out.”



 “Happy now?” I manage to grin at Gibbs as the medic helps me to my feet and brushes off my back for me.

 “Yep.” He nods at me and gives me a crooked smile back then starts to walk towards his car. Half-way there, he stops and looks back. “Well, move it, Di Nozzo. I don’t want to be here all night. Let’s go.”

 I manage to coax my still somewhat shaky legs into a run and catch up. “Go where?”

 “My place,” he says as if that explains everything. Hell, it probably does to him.

 I collapse into the passenger seat next to him and he takes off, tires squealing. Shit! Guess he doesn’t drive any different no matter how shitty his passenger feels. I hang onto the handle of the door surreptitiously with one hand and rest the other one across my belly, praying to whatever Gods still love Anthony DiNozzo that I won’t upchuck again and splatter the Boss’ upholstery.

 By the time we’re out of the car and inside his place, things are settling more and now I just feel numb and kinda buzzed, the way I do when I stay up for one of those twenty four hour marathons on the tube.

 I look down to find a towel in my hands. Hey, how did that get there? I look up and see Gibbs standing in front of me. He’s shaking his head and muttering something under his breath. I’d read his lips but I’m too tired to bother.

 Instead I let him push me into the bathroom. And then I guess I must be really tired because I let him undress me and shove me under the spray too. I lean forward and rest my head against the tiles. It’s nice. I could sleep here.

 The sudden warm presence behind me makes my head jerk up in a hurry and I nearly crash into the stall door in shock.

 Gibbs grabs me around the waist and hauls me back upright again.

 “Um, Boss? What’s going on?”

 “Just making sure you don’t fall and crack your fool head open on the tiles, Tony.” Gibbs sounds like he’s smiling and his arm feels warm and strong around my waist.

 “Is that the only reason you’re in the shower with me?” Christ, Di Nozzo. Talk about pathetic. Why don’t you just carve ‘I love Gibbs’ across your forehead.

 Gibbs doesn’t answer and I hold my breath. Then I’m being turned to face him and his hand leaves my waist and tilts my head just so and then… Holy shit, the man can kiss.

 Two minutes into it and I’m sporting enough wood to build an A-frame. I pull back and flick a quick glance down. Guess kissing like that does it for the Boss too. Who knew?

 “That was the first time you’ve really scared me, Tony,” he whispers in between tiny caresses to my eyes and mouth.  “Don’t do it again.”

 I shake my head fervently as he reaches between us and takes my cock in his hand. “I… I won’t,” I manage to murmur and then he begins to stroke me and it’s a very long time before I can say anything at all.

 The End.