Summary: Yet another of my hard-to-follow dialogue only pieces in which Blair is whumped, Jim zones, etc. Features Emmett the EMT, from a couple of my previous fics

Yet Another Confusing, All-Dialogue Emmett Adventure!

By sharilyn

EMAIL: Sharilyn

i. "Dammit, how long is this going to take? They should've had him out of here by now; don't they know we need to move in and process the scene? Hell, it's already some kind of crazy blood bath in there; we don't need the added hassle of all that paperwork on a third dead body, for God's sake! Hey, you think Ellison did those other two? Though I don't see how, unless he has five-inch claws hidden on him somewhere, eh? God, what a mess; we'll be picking up pieces of those guys for days!"

"Turner…why don't you just shut your stupid mouth? For once in your thick-headed, clueless excuse for a life, can't you just show a little tact and sensitivity? Even if idiots like you don't want to admit it, Sandburg IS one of ours now. And if you still don't or won't accept him, I know that you at least acknowledge that Ellison is one of us. And this…Man, this is rough. If you'd bother to pay attention for half a second, you'd see that the detective isn't exactly in his right mind at this moment. Don't you think they've all been TRYING to get him to turn Sandburg over to the paramedics? Christ, Simon Banks has been in there sweating bullets for over five minutes, just trying to persuade Ellison to hand Blair over so they can get him the hell out of here to Cascade General. But Ellison… He's just GONE, man; he even pulled his piece so no one can get near him OR Sandburg."

"Yeah, well that right there has just earned 'Mr. Detective of the Year' for three years running a full-on psych evaluation, for sure. Jesus, maybe it IS true, all the rumors about those two being a bit CLOSER than your usual 'he's my partner' closeness, eh? I mean, why else would Ellison be going so apeshit over his little buddy; it's not like he found him dead already, you know? But he just might be if Mr. Macho Man Detective doesn't snap out of whatever it is he's high on right now and hand Sandburg over to the emts."

"Geez, your incredible sensitivity continues to amaze and astound me, Turner; keep it up and I just might burst into tears. Why don't you go sexually harass one of the new female recruits hovering over there holding up the wall? I'm sure they'd be tickled to hear your take on this situation."

"You mock me, Harris, but I'm not the one curled up on a cold, dirty warehouse floor with my partner crushed against my chest like some bad romance novel cover. Not to mention the weapon Ellison currently keeps rubbing alongside his own temple like he wants to give himself a permanent headache. If MY partner was missing for days and had the snot beaten out of him, I'd have the good sense to call his ass a damned ambulance and get him some help. Shit, just because I'm not CRAZY doesn't mean I'm frigging insensitive. But you go ahead and stand there and emote or whatever it is you need to do; just let me know when Detective Ellison decides to give his partner a fighting chance to live and actually allows the paramedics to have access to him. Meanwhile, I'll just be over there with the sensible people who are patiently waiting to process the damned scene."

"By all means, go; enjoy yourself."

Stupid jerk…But Christ on a cracker, Ellison really HAS lost it. If Banks can't talk him down soon, they're just gonna have to trank his ass or something to get Sandburg away from him and get him some medical care. Doesn't make any sense, though; I've seen how protective Jim gets where Blair's concerned, and it damned sure isn't like him to keep Sandburg away from the help he so obviously needs. It's almost like Ellison is in some sort of altered state of consciousness or something…Jesus, I just hope this whole mess doesn't turn into an even bigger cluster fuck than it already is. Hell, it looks like some kind of wild animal tore apart those two asshole jerks who had Sandburg, but it had to have been Jim. All that blood on him isn't just from his partner; but God only knows just what did happen here before we all showed up…


"Jim? Jim, can you hear me? Are you listening? Detective Ellison, it's Simon. Simon Banks, your captain. Your friend…the man who is going to LOSE IT completely in about five seconds if I can't get through to you somehow!…Sorry. Sorry, Jim, I didn't mean that; let's all just stay cool, right? Everyone's calm, cool, and collected, it's all going to be okay…You just need to put that gun down, Jim; you're among friends now, no need to be waving your piece around or holding it so close to your head…NO! Jim, please, you have to listen to me; you have to FOCUS, focus on my voice, on the words I'm saying to you. Sandburg is hurt, Jim; your partner needs help, help we can't give him unless and until you put that gun down and let the paramedics get him to a hospital. "

"What? No, hell, no, I don't need those idiots busting in here-what do they want to do, push him right over the edge? Joel, Joel! Yeah, move all those people back, tell them…tell them Jim was exposed to some sort of drug or chemical or something, tell them they need to back off and let me bring him down a bit before we try anything else…Rafe, where are the medics? Did you request Emmett Reilly like I asked? He knows Jim and Blair best, right now he's the only one I trust to handle this situation once we talk Jim down…Jim? Hey, buddy, there you are…thank God, I think we have some lights coming back on behind those eyes, eh? Yeah, that's it, focus those baby blues, come back to planet Earth…Jim, can you hear me talking to you?"

"Dead? No, no, Jim, Sandburg's NOT dead! Look, right now your senses are just overwhelmed, you're having trouble focusing, trouble zeroing in on the sound of his heartbeat and respirations…but he's not GONE, Jim; Blair is still alive, still with us. He's unconscious, though, and he needs medical attention. You just need to put the gun down, that gun right there in your hand…yeah, nice and slow and easy, just set it on the floor next to you and push it this direction so everyone will know you're back with us and not about to ventilate somebody by accident, okay? Jim? Detective Ellison, I NEED FOR YOU TO LAY YOUR WEAPON DOWN! Now, Jim, please? That's it, just click that safety back on and rest awhile, hmm? It's going to be all right, everything's going to work out just fine…"

"Jim? I'm going to stand up now and approach you, slow and steady, no sudden moves, okay? It's just me, good old Simon, moving closer so I can help both you and Sandburg…easy, now, easy. See, you recognize me, yes, I see it in your eyes…nothing to fear here, no danger coming at you, just some help for your partner…Yeah, that's right-it's him, it's Blair; there he is, safe and secure in your arms, you've got him, Detective. You found him, you did it---two days of no sleep and tearing this town apart, but you refused to give up, refused to slow down till you got to him, rescued him…but your job still isn't done, Ellison. Look at him, look down at Sandburg and tell me what we need to do next, Jim. See him, Jim, see he's injured, Blair's hurt and unconscious, and you need to let us help him now…" iii.

"Hey, Detective Ellison; um…it's me, Emmett? You and Sandburg definitely know me by now, eh? Yeah, we've been through quite a lot together in the months that I've worked this shift, you know? In fact, I was thinking of maybe installing an honorary plaque in the back of my ride dedicated to Sandburg and Ellison, two of my most frequent customers. How does that sound, wouldn't Sandburg just love that? Come on, Detective, what's it gonna take to let me get a look at that handsome partner of yours? I'd really like to check his vitals, look at his pupils and all that other good stuff we always do for you guys when you catch a lift with us to lovely Cascade General…"

"Whoa, whoa! Okay, Jim, it's okay; I'm backing off, not gonna come closer till you tell me I can…see, nothing in my hands, just waiting to help Blair, won't you let me help your partner now? Captain Banks is right here making sure I don't get up to any mischief; he's got your gun, keeping it safe for you, and he's looking out for the both of you, keeping you safe, too…Yes, you know me now, you know I would never hurt Sandburg, I only want to help him…Okay now? It's okay for me to move in a bit, is that what you're trying to tell me? Good, that's great, Jim; and see, my hands are empty, nothing up my sleeves…I won't even touch my med kit till you say I can. I just want to evaluate Blair's condition first, if that's all right with you. I can come a little closer still? Great, that's great, Detective; I really appreciate your trusting me right now, I know this has to be so difficult and confusing for you…Gina, Gina! Be ready with that kit, will you? Jim, the beauty over there in the doorway is Gina, I'm sort of breaking her in this week, so no worries there; you can trust her, too, she's pretty good at this paramedic routine. And boy, let me tell you; you and Blair are making her first week here pretty darned memorable, if I do say so. Yeah, Gina, right there, just leave it at the door and wait for me back at the ambulance; YOU'RE doing great, too, I'll be sure to make a note about your coolness under fire in your first evaluation, eh?"

" Okay, here we go, Jim, I'm going to move up right beside you now, moving slow and easy so you can see and hear and even smell me if you want to…I'm only nine hours into my twenty-four hour deodorant, so hopefully I'm not too rank yet, eh? I know you're extra sensitive sometimes to such things, so I hope I'm not making that headache you must have even worse. Know how I can tell you have a bad headache, Jim? You've got a great stoic face going right now, don't get me wrong; but , sort of like you, I'm a trained observer. And I can tell by the tight line around your mouth and those tiny, tiny crinkles by your eyes that you're in some pain from that stubborn cranium of yours. So, what do you say I rustle up some extra strength advil or whatever for you once we get Sandburg attended to? Headaches can be a real bitch, I know…Oh, sorry, sorry, Jim!...Ugh, you really are hellishly strong, aren't you? Just squeeze a bit tighter and I bet you could snap my wrist like a twig, eh? But see, if you break my bones, I won't be much good to Blair, here; and he looks like he could really, really use my help right now. Is it okay if I take my arm back now and try to restore a bit of circulation? Then maybe you'll allow me to take a look at your partner; you know, if Sandburg was awake right now he'd probably be kind of po'd with you for giving me such a hard time. Just between you and me, I think he has a bit of a soft spot for me, considering how often I've patched you up on the way to the hospital. Not trying to make you jealous or anything, ha; I'm just saying, he's kinda fond of YOU so yeah, he's gonna be protective of the guy who's kept you in one piece on more than one occasion. All right, here we go, I'm just going to reach out very slowly and check your partner's pulse…see, nothing to it, just checking Blair out a bit…"


"That's right, Jim; Blair's injured, but I'm here to help, okay? It's me, it's Emmett; you know me. You know I'm not going to do anything to hurt Blair, I'm just here to take good care of him till we get him to the hospital. Are you with me now, Jim; you gonna let me check Blair out? Maybe you can lay him down right here, flat on his back, just slowly slide him down, don't jostle him too much, careful with his neck and spine…"

"Oh, God…what…what did I do, why is there so much blood? The smell, it was the smell of all that blood, their gore, it was too strong, just too much…and then I saw Blair again, what they did to him, and even with the others' blood I could smell that he was bleeding, too, hurt and bleeding…and I couldn't focus, couldn't hear his heartbeat anymore, couldn't see or feel him breathing…gone. Thought he was gone, that I was too late…and everything just…went away. Too late, I was too late…"

"No, Jim; you weren't too late. Blair's ALIVE, you can see that now, and he's going to be okay. But I need to treat him so we can get him to the hospital and have the experts take a look-see. Okay? That's it, put him down right there, carefully…Captain Banks, do you think you could have someone bring Gina back in here with the stretcher and the rest of our gear? It's okay, Detective Ellison, everything's going to be okay. Blair's pulse is strong, he's breathing fine without assistance, and as soon as I pull my trusty little penlight from my jacket pocket, here, I can make sure his pupils are equal and reactive…yep, looking good. He's had his bell rung, all right, but there doesn't appear to be a skull fracture or any serious head injury. Of course, we'll need to get some scans run at the hospital to be sure, but I think Blair will start coming around soon on his own. Ah, there she is, the lovely and competent Gina Mancusi, the newest and completely platonic love of my professional career…Detective Ellison, would you allow Gina to take a look at you, just a tiny look, while I take care of Blair? She'll be very gentle, I promise; and Gina, don't let that tough guy exterior of his fool you; deep down inside, Detective Ellison is all marshmallow fluff. Hey, what's that look for, Mancusi; your eyes tell me you don't believe me. Well, when Sandburg wakes up he can verify that I'm telling you the truth; if anybody's got Jim's number, it's Blair. Sharp as a tack, nothing gets by that boy. Right, Blair? C'mon, prof, help me out here, wake up now and tell Gina what a big mushball Ellison really is."

"No, don't need looking at…just let me get to Sandburg, talk to him…I can bring him back, get him to hear me, need him to wake up…Just let me see his eyes, need to see him open his eyes and look at me…"

"All in good time, Detective; right now I just need a bit of space to do what I need to do to help Blair. Okay? Hey, Captain Banks, could you help Jim up, maybe get him some water to drink and some extra to wash the gunk off his face and hands? Jim, you don't want Blair's first conscious sight of you to scare him right back into unconsciousness, do you? Go on, now, let the captain help you tidy up a bit and then you can ride with us to the hospital. You know I'm not even gonna try to keep you out of the back of my ambulance; you'll have your usual seat right next to all the action. Thanks, Captain, Gina and I appreciate your help. I think Jim's going to be fine physically; he's just a little bit shaken up right now. "

" Okay, here we go, Blair, time to wake up and grace us all with those famously brilliant blue eyes of yours…what's his bp again, Gina? Note it down and then hand me that pack of butterfly bandages; think he needs one right now for that cut on his forehead. The rest of these cuts we'll take care of on the way in, luckily they're mostly superficial. Head wounds just bleed a lot, doesn't necessarily mean they're serious…but you knew that already from prior firsthand experience, right, Blair? Both you and Jim should have bought stock in Band-aid brand by now. Oh, hey, look who's trying to come back around now, when all the excitement and fun's already just about over? C'mon, Blair, open your eyes…don't make me call you SANDBURG in that bossy Jim voice just to get your attention, eh? And he's trying, trying…not quite all the way back with us but getting there. Jim, you wanna---?"

"Dammit, Sandburg, why do you keep doing this to me? Are you TRYING to kill me? Oh, God, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I'm sorry, Blair…No, Simon, let me stay here, I promise I won't interfere with the medics; I just need to be here, to see…Blair, can you hear me, are you awake? God, I've been looking EVERYWHERE for you; I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it all out, so sorry…But you're gonna be okay, Emmett's here and he knows and he says you'll be fine, good as new soon…"

"Jim…? Jim…come on, now, let Emmett and Ms. Mancusi do their jobs; Blair's going to be okay, you found him in time and left a godawful mess in the process, it seems…But we'll deal with that later. Right now let's get you outside to the ambulance…no, not trying to trick you, Jim, I swear you'll be riding with Blair, you won't have to leave his side all the way to the hospital…see, Emmett's got it all under control, and there's Blair, giving you the lamest thumbs-up gesture I've ever seen. That IS his thumb and not his middle finger he's poking up at you, isn't it? Yeah, I'm a real comedian, I know. Just call me Mr. Comic Relief. C'mon, Jim, let these people do their job."


"…Jim…okay…'m okay…go. Go…Simon…go with…"

"See, Jim? Straight from the horse's mouth, so let's move. Taking you outside now, Joel will cover Blair's back and make sure Emmett and Gina get him out of the building with no problems, okay? All right, dammit, I've already told all you people twice over to clear OUT of the area; we've got a stretcher coming through any minute here; you'll get your chance at the scene, just hold your damned horses…Jim, with me; Harris, get over here! If so much as ONE tv or newspaper journalist gets anywhere NEAR Detectives Ellison or Sandburg before they're both safely inside the ambulance and out of here, there WILL be Hell to pay. Catch my drift? Get that buffoon Turner to help you keep those ghouls at bay, and make sure strict protocol is followed in processing this scene. I don't want ANY foul-ups or mistakes on this one, you hear me? Come on, now, Jim, I've got you. I think you've earned at least a couple of days off after this, hmm? God knows Sandburg has; I guess we'll just have to muddle through at Major Crimes till the both of you are back in the office again, ragging on everyone and creating your usual measure of chaos and mayhem. I swear ten new gray hairs have sprung out on my head just in the past half hour thanks to you two…"

"Simon…thanks. I…I just…"

"Jim. He really IS going to be okay, you know. And you found him and we're bringing him out alive, so for now anyway I'm inclined to cut you some slack as far as that whole nightmare scene back there. But we'll sort all that out later; for now let's get you settled in your usual place of honor in Emmett's ambulance and wait for Sandburg. I've got a feeling I'm gonna be investing in some mens' hair dye before this particular case is all wrapped up. Either that or start drinking, sigh…just another day in the life, eh? Well, in my next life I want to be a daredevil; it's gotta be less stressful than this. But with my luck you two would wind up being my managers or something. The three of us combined must have SOME kind of karma, my friend; oh, Lord, did I just say karma? Sandburg has warped my mind FOREVER; it's not funny, Jim, really not funny…"

The End