When Slash Writers go Bad...
by Kira

Okay, these are two little scenes that you won't see in a serious slash writer's stories....

Scene One

Blair sat up as Jim moved away from him on the bed.  The soft sobs that wracked his lover, sent currents of fear through Blair.  What on earth had happened?  Jim had gone undercover, having to spend one week --a whole week! -- away from his lover.&nbbsp; When he had returned, though, Blair noticed that his normally voracious lover was withdrawn and distant.  God, had he been abused?  Hurt?  Raped?  Blair's mind shied away from the horrible possibilities.


"Blair...we have to talk."

Blair pulled himself together and crawled over to sit beside Jim on the edge of the bed.

"Jim, no matter what, we can get through it. Just talk to me."  Blair rubbed a comforting hand on Jim's back.

"I, I...don't want you to hate me," Jim managed to get out, holding his head in his hands.

"I won't Jim. Trust me.  You can tell me anything."


"Yeah.  Anything.  I'll be here  for you."  Blair radiated calm understanding.



"I'm straight."

Snippet Two

Blair felt the barrel of the gun rest against the base of his neck.  The bank robber had grabbed him during his escape and now they were holing up in a small cabin, high in the mountains north of Cascade.  The

"Get inside," the burly man growled, punctuating his words with pokes from the gun.

Blair obeyed and walked in.  The room was sparse with a small cot and a sink.  The man pointed to the bed with the gun.


Blair sat, and pulled off his sweater.  He then began to undo the buttons on his jeans.  The robber watched as Blair continued to disrobe.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Blair looked up innocently, his blue eyes guileless.

"You aren't going to feel me up now?"

He lay down, raising his hands over his head, crossing his wrists.

"What????"  The robber asked.

"You know...molest me?" Blair looked at him quizzically. "Don't you find me attractive?"

"Sorry to disappoint you kid, I'm straighter than a highway in the Prairies."

"But...but...everyone wants to have their way with me."  Blair wrinkled his alabaster brow in confusion.  He sat up, pulling the blanket demurely over his considerable endowments.  "You don't think I have a cute butt?"

The robber closed his eyes and rubbed the barrel of the gun against his temple.  "Kid, you're a hostage for cryin' out loud.  I was robbing a bank, not looking for a quick lay."

"I...I....I don't understand."  Blair's voice was small and confused.

"Let me spell it out for you.  I.  Don't. Want. To. Fuck.  You,"  the robber said, enunciating each word.

"Oh."  Blair looked about lost, wondering what to do, when a voice through a bull horn rang out.

"This is the Cascade PD.  We have you surrounded.  Come out with your hands up."

"I'm coming out!  I'm coming out!  Just keep that weirdo away from me!" the robber shouted back, throwing out his gun out with a last look at  Blair.  Jim stormed the cabin, enveloping his lover in his firm embrace.

"Blair, honey, are you okay?"

"J...Jim,"  Blair sniffled.  "It was horrible!  He didn't want me!"

"There, there Blair.  I'll always want you.  Not everyone in Cascade has good taste."  Jim escorted his shaken lover out of the cabin and took him home to love him into insensibility and banish the horrible experience.