Bathroom Talk
by Kira

"Come on, Chief."

"But don't need to teach me how to do this."

"Trust me, buddy. You technique has much to be desired."

"Oh, come on, Jim. I think you're taking this a bit far."

"Sandburg. Just do what I tell you for once, okay?"

"Fine. Let's just get this over with."

"Okay. First of all, hold it carefully in your hand."

"Like this?"

"Yeah, like that. Now. Slowly close your hand around it and move it up."


"Now make sure that you gently hold the tip. You don't want to make a mess."

"Oh right. How's that?"

"Perfect. Now, just gently squeeze."

"Is that right?"

"No, no, not from the middle, from the end to the top. Yeah, like that. Just carefully move it up."

"Whoa! Ah, damn. Look at that mess, all over your jeans too. Sorry, Jim. I'll wipe it up. Good thing we're in the bathroom huh?"

"For crying out loud, Chief."

"Maybe if I try it again. A bit slower this time?"

"Forget it, Chief. There's no way I'm going to spend the rest of the day with toothpaste on my pants. I'll just have to accept the fact you can't roll a tube of toothpaste worth a damn."