Tete a Tete
(or Mono-a-Mono)
by Kira

You see, I believe I have a problem.  No, only you have that problem, and it is from eating too many donuts, I might add.  Sugar is not good for you.

But to return to what I was saying.  I have a problem.  A problem of the heart.  Now don't say that.  While she might have shot you, that doesn't mean that every person I am interested in will make attempts on your life.

It's Ray.  I think I may be interested in developing an intimate relationship with him based on mutual affection and trust.

Very well, I think I love him.

And I think that is my problem.  You know how I felt about Ray.  I mean the other Ray.  I never had as close a friend before.  We even danced.

Well, yes, I know I was undercover at the time, but still, we danced.  And he never made fun of it.  It was as if he knew that it mattered to me.  We got along so well, even when we fought.

What do you mean I annoyed him?  I most certainly did not.   And it is totally beside the point.  The point *is* I think I now have feelings for Ray.  And the feelings are different.

With the old Ray, I would feel this warmth whenever we were together.  With this Ray, I feel...I feel a fire.

And I've told him I love him.  I've complimented his hair.  And I told him I find him attractive.

I just can't help but feel that there is a distance between us.

Yes, yes, I know he punched me, but I think we've worked out our difficulties.  If anything, we made a tangible declaration of friendship.  I'm staying here for him, he's staying here, and I don't see why I can't say that he's doing it for me.

The feel of his lips against mine was indescribable.  I never kissed the old Ray.  But then, we were never stuck in a sinking ship either.

Well, of course not, you don't bother with that sort of thing.  But we do.  Call it a foible if you must, but it is an incredibly enjoyable activity.

Don't eat that.  You'll make yourself ill.  Well, don't say I didn't tell you so.

Now, where was I?  Oh, yes.  Ray.

But you see my problem.  He still loves the woman he married.  I can see it in his eyes when she walks by.  And in the station it is hard to avoid her.  His heart is broken into pieces by her mere presence, and I want nothing more than to gather the delicate shards and mend them together...oh will you listen to me, nattering on in such a sentimental way.  It must be the time of year.  The fall always brings out the worst in me that way.

I don't want to feel like I am betraying Ray.  We were such good friends.  And I wanted more.  Clearly, though, building a relationship with him would be impossible.  He was quite Roman Catholic.  And I can't say his family would understand.  I wouldn't put him through that.

It would be different with Ray.  Oh, you know who I mean.  Don't play daft.  He doesn't have the same family as Ray.  He isn't afraid to cry in my presence. He could go against the grain.

But would he?

Would he for me?

Don't be ridiculous.  I have not been ignoring you.  Why just the other day, didn't we go to the petting zoo?  All those women fed you enough.

Getting back to the issue at hand.  I'm afraid that he will think that I am putting my feelings for the Ray onto him.  That he will not see that it is he that I am in love with.  I don't want to lose the friendship we have in the hopes of having more.

But I don't expect you to understand.  Things are easier for you.

Well, here we are at the station.  Remember, no more donuts.

Hello, Ray!  No, I'm not busy.  Lunch?  Yes, thank you kindly.   Can't say I have. What is a 'Tube Steak" and why is it called 'Mister'?



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